Vows

Posted: June 15, 2014 in General Interest

young dadMy father used to send me clippings from a column in the New York Times called “Vows.”  It was a weekly column about weddings and love and romance, and how people met cute or reconnected after many years or people who never thought they’d marry. There was usually something quirky about the couple, or their wedding.

He’d go to the big Detroit Main Public Library once a week, carrying a back pack that he’d fill with books.  He meticulously made copies of the articles and mailed them to me, a few times a month. No note, just an envelope stuffed with Xeroxed information, “the keep hope alive” love story packet of the week.

The stories were always interesting, but he sent them so often that I didn’t always have, or make  the time to read them. Man-oh-man getting those thick envelopes used to irk me. I wondered why he did it. I wasn’t always in the mood to read about all those happy couples getting engaged and married. Yay for them. Whatever. Who cares!

He died suddenly at the age of 81, in the late fall of 2003.  I’m so glad I never threw the clippings away. Whenever the mail arrived I’d add the new letter to the growing stack I kept in a big hat box and when he passed I read each one, all five years worth.

I was single then and I’m still single now, divorced for many years. One time we were in the car, the place where we had most of our talks, and I was in a bratty mood and asked my Dad why he sent me the clippings.

Me: Dad why do you send me those Vows things in the mail all the time?

Dad: Do you want me to stop sending them?

He wouldn’t  really explain, lol.  It was obvious he wasn’t gonna share any deep insight into the reason why he kept floating me those letters. Fortunately I told him to continue, and I didn’t nag for a deeper explanation.

Once he was gone I figured it out. If he were alive today I’d tell him that I think he sent them so I could see that people eventually find the right person to love.  I think it was his  indirect way of telling me romance could still happen for me. I’m really glad I kept those letters. Nothing has happened for me yet, but I’ve changed my attitude and I’m happy for people who have found someone to love them, who they can love back. I’m happy about the subject of romantic love (even though it remains a big mystery to me)  whether it happens for me or not. I’d tell him how grateful I am for the subtle message he tried to send me.

I’d tell him that although I’m not any better at dating now than I was 11 years ago when he passed, I’m still trying to improve and I have a much more open mind about it lol. I went through the clippings yesterday, and remembered the care he took in preparing and sending me those letters. It gave me the warm fuzzies.

I know he’d be proud of the fact that this blog I started turned one year old this month. My goal last year was to have the blog up and running so I could post a Father’s Day tribute. One year and 81 posts later, I’m still blogging.

I’d tell him thanks for everything, and Happy Father’s Day xxoo.

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Comments
  1. Ahh, Shannyn Marie. Tears… You had a wonderful dad. That means you are a blessed woman. I will keep hope alive with you.

    Like

  2. resurgeer says:

    I remember your father. I’d see him at the WSU alumni breakfast events. It was always so cool to see him. You are indeed one of the lucky women to know a father’s love.

    Like

  3. Petronia says:

    This is Lovely and BRILLAIANT!!! You already have your great memories!

    Like

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